NOTE: This will be the only post here this week, while I am out of town for the Festival of Faith and Writing in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
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Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
~ Colossians 3:12-14 (NIV)
Five children in our home multiplies exponentially the way relationship conflicts occur. Frequent breaches require regular exercise of repentance and forgiveness.
It's said that the hardest words are, "I was wrong and I'm sorry." While the right consequences can compel a child to say that, getting the right heart into them has been an arduous process. The "formula" I've tried to teach and exemplify is A-B-C.
ADMIT your wrongdoing, and it helps to acknowledge why you were wrong, the effects of your behavior, and the message you communicated.
BE SORRY, and not simply because your wrongdoing was brought to attention, or you hope to mitigate consequences, or someone is upset with you. Realize that you do love, or at least are supposed to love, a fellow human being who is hurt or offended by you.
COMMIT TO CHANGE, and understand that even if you follow through long enough and take steps to change what the world sees on the outside, only a life lived through God will enable you to change on the inside, where all sin, thoughtlessness, and selfishness begin in the heart.
However long they take, however much diligence they require, forgiveness and repentance are necessary steps for healing both a relationship breach as well as one's own soul. Forgiveness needs to follow an offense, whether or not your offender repents. Your own heartfelt repentance makes a request for forgiveness more easily received and granted, toward true reconciliation and relationship.
And above all things have fervent love for one another, for "love will cover a multitude of sins."
~ 1 Peter 4:8 (NKJV)
Love isn't happiness experienced because someone has done something to make us feel good. Love is the joy experienced in our care for another fragile soul as an expression of God's love for us. When such love goes both ways, conditions are perfect for a flourishing relationship.
Lord, please enable us to love one another as You have loved us by drawing us to bask in Your love.
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Copyright 2012, Anne Lang Bundy, all rights reserved.
I love this! I think I need to implement ABC in our house. I do see that some of our efforts have paid off in Robbie and AJ, as they are far more compassionate towards others than what they proved growing up especially to each other. They are not perfect obviously but their actions are often admirable. I do totally relate to what you are saying though because getting them this far was not an easy process. Only God can help the younger ones!
ReplyDeleteMary, I think you may already be doing this, if in your own words. I long for the day when, perhaps, by God's grace, our children have the kind of relationship with one another that we have.
DeleteGod, help us! Empower us, guide us, remind us as we raise our children.
This is great. Love and prayers to you sis.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Denise! May God bring fuller relationship in those many places you have so graciously sown forgiveness.
DeleteThis ministered to me today. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteAbby, I smile to know that God has used my words for ministry and blessing to you. :D
DeleteDropping by from Diana's list, posted at Sarah's. So glad I did. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteSheila, my thanks to you for stopping by. May God use what you've found here for His work in your life.
DeleteI'm here from Diana's list too. It is so good to meet you and to read your words. I am excited to discover a whole group of women who are in the same season of life.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to meet you too, Linda. What I wouldn't have given for that list about 20 years ago, when I was hungry to better know God. I pray that God will use that list to connect the right women with one another.
DeleteAnne--I came by from Sarah's/Diana's list, too. So glad to see such solid teaching out here....I'll be back.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you.
Thank you, Jody, for affirming what's here as solid teaching. The Bible has never failed me in providing firm footing. I'd love to see your smile here again. :D
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