Ain't Heavy til Today

Dedicated to John and Paula, your precious children, and your beloved Mallory.

It has been a week of tears, a week of grieving unfathomable loss.

One week ago, our friends lost their fifteen-month-old daughter in a drowning accident.

I had just gotten around to a rare nap (much desired after a late night session with a sewing machine and a flurry-of-activity morning) when the phone call came. I kept adjusting the direction of my cell phone in a groggy effort to understand the urgent voice, the broken words, the long and halting pauses.

When I pieced together the sentence fragments and realized the tragedy, all I could do was cry. I held the sobbing mother in clumsy arms over a phone line as we wept together. Within fifteen minutes, and during countless hours in days to follow, I wrapped real arms around a sister with unending questions, doing my best to answer.

Some answers came from Scripture. Some came from my heart. Some will come from God in the right timing, as they may be borne. And some answers belong only to Heaven.

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
~ Galatians 6:2 (NKJV)

The "law of Christ"—His singular command—is this simply: "Love one another."

My own plate is so full. I sometimes stagger under its weight. Two weeks ago, I would have said I absolutely do not have extra hours. I'd have said I cannot take on another load.

Yet from the hand which sets divine appointments, the hours materialized. A visit to the doctor had already been rescheduled. Another commitment was easily maneuvered. All three of our employed family members were off work and home when the phone call came. On successive days, there was always someone home with my children as various opportunities arose to help smooth the way or comfort or perhaps simply weep with people I dearly love.

And although I've fallen into bed exhausted at the end of such days, (for weeping wearies a soul), the same divine hand of our loving Lord provided necessary strength in response to prayers. I cannot say that I have ministered to anyone, but rather, the Lord has ministered through me. Only God owns what is needed in such an impossible situation.

"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
~ Matthew 11:28-30 (NKJV)

Today—(*sigh*)—today presents the only true burden to me. Today is the memorial service. Today the family lets go all over again.

Today, I won't be there.

Today is the one day that plans that cannot be rescheduled. Today I am a thousand miles away. Today, I cannot wrap arms around a grieving mother and help carry her burden.

Today is the only day I feel laden down.

However heavy the burden was earlier in the week, I did not feel its weight as long as I could help carry it.




HE AIN'T HEAVY, HE'S MY BROTHER
words written by Bob Russell and Bobby Scott

The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where
Who knows where

But I'm strong
Strong enough to carry him
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

So on we go
His welfare is of my concern
No burden is he to bear
We'll get there

For I know
He would not encumber me
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

If I'm laden at all
I'm laden with sadness
That everyone's heart
Isn't filled with the gladness
Of love for one another

It's a long, long road
From which there is no return
While we're on the way to there
Why not share

And the load
Doesn't weigh me down at all
He ain't heavy he's my brother

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Blog post Copyright 2012, Anne Lang Bundy, all rights reserved.

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