Currency of Joy

This post is part of a blog carnival hostessed by Bridget Chumbley. You're invited to visit her at "One Word at a Time" and see what others are saying about today's theme: Gratitude.

Image source: photobucket.com

"What we take for granted is never ours
until we have bought it by pain.
A thing is worth just what it costs."
~ Oswald Chambers

Desperate people come to a place where they are driven either by despair to give up, or by resolve to persevere beyond all reason and apparent ability.

When King David hit bottom, he believed in God's promise to never give up on him. From a place of abject despair, he did not give up on God. Though he had committed adultery and murder, David had the audacity to ask the Lord for joy and edification:

Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me with a generous spirit.
~ Psalms 51:12 (author)

In asking God to restore his joy, David asks for the spirit with which to take hold of it—a spirit of generosity, or noble liberality, toward God.

He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully... God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound toward you ...
~ 2 Corinthians 9:6-8 (NKJV)

Generosity comes easily from abundance. But in time of scarcity, generosity comes by sacrifice and great cost.

Generous expressions of gratitude to God for His blessings are fitting in times of abundance and easily sown. When thanksgiving and praise become a sacrifice—given from poverty, in famine of joy—it is not as easy to sow with a liberal hand. Yet if there will ever be a bountiful harvest, there must be bountiful sowing, even from a place of scarcity.

Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name.
~ Hebrews 13:15 (NKJV)

Gratitude is the currency with which joy is purchased. Joy eludes the ungrateful heart of complaint and discontent. The heart willing to sow gratitude with a generous spirit in time of famine will again reap abundant joy. In any economy, value is determined by the price one is willing to pay to obtain what one seeks.

To be desperate for joy offers a choice. Either give up, or pay out the currency of joy. It is tendered with gratitude, however high the price.

I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle;
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the LORD.
Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice!
Have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
When You said, "Seek My face,"
My heart said to You, "Your face, LORD, I will seek."
~ Psalms 27:6-8 (NKJV)

"Discontent is a sin that is its own punishment ...
It is a sin that is its own parent.
It arises not from the condition, but from the mind.
As we find Paul contented in a prison,
so Ahab discontent in a palace."
~ Matthew Henry

My thanks to Ginny at "Make a Difference to One" for the Matthew Henry quote.
I appreciate hearing from you. Questions are welcome. Reply to BuildingHisBody.com comments or e-mail me—my address is
buildingHisbody [plus] @gmail.com.
Copyright 2010, Anne Lang Bundy, all rights reserved.

Question of the Week: Can Marital Sex be Sinful? Part II

Is pornography adultery?
~ Anonymous
Am I obligated to sleep with a spouse who I do not think loves me anymore and is just using me for sex?
~ Anonymous


These were submitted as two separate questions. Both might receive a simple 'yes' based on Matthew 5:28 and 1 Corinthians 7:4-5. But addressing sin in context of marital sex deserves far more depth, and three posts are planned to offer some answers:

Part I: Sexual Immorality, Unique Sin
Part II: Sex Drive, Unique Motivation
Part III: Sexual Contrasts, Unique Solution

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PART II: SEX DRIVE, UNIQUE MOTIVATION

"In real love you want the other person's good.
In romantic love, you want the other person."
~ Margaret Chase Smith

Once upon a time, in a world without sin, the Creator gave woman to man as a companion. In all creation, she alone was like him, and yet she was wholly different. Their ideal lives had nothing to challenge unconditional love for each other.

Then sin came into the picture. Agonizing toil and labor would now consume both the man and woman in their respective occupations, and newfound self-centeredness would forevermore put their relationship in continual jeopardy.

Little might compel a man and woman to unite if the Creator did not also give the man a fight-to-the-death sex drive and the woman a drive for relationship ("your desire shall be for your husband"—Genesis 3:16). While there is no doubt that men were also created for relationship, and women were also created to enjoy sex, it's generally understood that most men are more driven toward physical satisfaction and most women are more driven toward emotional satisfaction. *

Ideally, each partner prompts the other to find both kinds of satisfaction in sexual intimacy—the Creator's super glue to permanently bond together two otherwise ill-fitting creatures in the institution of marriage.

Super glue is interesting stuff. It is reputed to create a bond stronger than the materials it unites. It forms that bond with incredible speed. And if not used with sufficient care, it will bond things not meant to be bonded, or otherwise cause damage.

The same is true of sexual intimacy. Blog host Russell Holloway noted in his comment last week that sex has recreational and procreational components, but is most importantly a form of communication. Sexual intimacy creates a unique vulnerability and opens channels of communication in marriage which can strengthen it as nothing else. If intimacy includes immorality, sexual intimacy can also injure a marriage as nothing else.

The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
~ 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 (NKJV)

It’s been said that women learn to fake pleasure and men learn to fake relationship.

Dishonesty and vulnerability are a dangerous mix.

Faking might seem preferable to facing how weak the marriage is. Indulgence of sexual immorality might look like a way to revive the sexual bond of marriage. But sin can never deliver on what it promises. What it does always deliver is consequences greater than its fleeting pleasure.

Not-faking might seem an adequate excuse to avoid sexual intimacy. But frustrated desire—whether a man's physical desire or a woman's emotional desire—makes a person vulnerable to seeking some manner of satisfaction outside of marriage, and is a recipe for marriage failure.

God’s Spirit provides another, better option, to be examined next week.

~ ~ ~

* Paul mentions that for the sake of God's kingdom, the Holy Spirit gives some people a gift to appreciate celibacy (1 Corinthians 7:7-9;32-34).

: : :

For more on the consequences of sexual immorality, see "For Beauty, If She is Listening."

This post originally appeared at Bullets & Butterflies. To see additional comments containing ongoing dialogue, click here.

What questions do you have about Christianity or the Bible? You're invited to leave them in the comments below (anonymous questions welcome), or email buildingHisbody [plus] @ gmail.com.

© 2010 Anne Lang Bundy, all rights reserved.
Image source: homepages.ius.edu

Pity or Compassion?

To the best of my memory, I've never asked anyone for permission to repost a blog article. But this stands out as one of the best posts I've read. Ever. Today I share a worthy repeat from Connecting to Impact.

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PITY OR COMPASSION?
by Jason Stasyszen

There’s a show on History (you know, used to be the History Channel) called American Pickers. Now, I honestly don’t watch it all the time, but it is very entertaining.

I mean, just listen to the premise: two guys drive around in a van combing through barns, garages, and warehouses looking for treasures in a sea of hoarded items.

Okay, it doesn’t sound that amazing, but what makes it so great are the two guys who are so passionate and excited about what they’re looking for. They never know what they’ll find or even what they’re looking for entirely, but they love the thrill of finding that special treasure and bargaining with the owner to part with it.

I’ve decided I want to be more like this–but about people. I think there’s too much pity in the world and not enough compassion. We pity people for their hard childhood, their presently hard circumstances, their poor decisions… That’s not even mentioning that we often pity ourselves for much the same reasons.

These guys are passionate about seeing things not as they are currently or even what they were used for 50-100 years ago. It’s all about how these items can be cleaned up, repurposed, and made useful again. Their risks don’t always pay off, but it never dampens their enthusiasm.

Pity can’t do that. Pity won’t do that–because pity won’t even try.

God didn’t send us Jesus because He pitied us, but because He was passionate about us. Jesus didn’t heal, forgive, restore, and deliver out of pity, but because He had compassion and it always moved Him to change their lives. The more they hung around Him, the more their lives changed.

Likewise, Jesus isn’t building a Church that will pity the poor, blinded, broken, and desperate. We need to be passionate about how God sees them and us, never settling for a lesser vision.

→ Pity says “Don’t expect too much. We know it’s been really hard.”

→ Compassion says, “Get up! Take up your mat and walk.”

→ Pity says “I’ll just try to make you comfortable down there.”

→ Compassion says “There’s no reason you can’t come up here!”

Don’t get me wrong, I can’t change anyone and I won’t try. God has to do that, but He has a way of using those with hearts after Him. We get to be conduits of grace.

I’m tired of pitying a broken world full of hurting people. I want God’s compassion alive inside me to go out and find the treasures on the street corners, the grocery stores, the office buildings–and I want to allow God to touch my eyes so that I can see them the way God does.

I hope somebody’s with me today! What do you think? Care to add others to the list of pity says/compassion says?

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Jason received some great responses over at his blog. My favorite comment was this, from Sandra Heska King:

"Pity is wallowing in the shallows with someone. Compassion is pulling them with you into the deep."

To see more comments, and to share your thoughts with Jason, click here

© 2010 by Connecting to Impact all rights reserved. Used by permission of Jason Stasyszen, pictured here with wife Andrea. Thanks again, Jason!

Question of the Week: Can Marital Sex be Sinful? Part I

1. Is pornography adultery?
~ Anonymous
2. Am I obligated to sleep with a spouse who I do not think loves me anymore and is just using me for sex?
~ Anonymous

These were submitted as two separate questions. Both might receive a simple 'yes' based on Matthew 5:28 and 1 Corinthians 7:4-5. But addressing sin in context of marital sex deserves far more depth, and three posts are planned to offer some answers:

Part I: Sexual Immorality, Unique Sin
Part II: Sex Drive, Unique Motivation
Part III: Sexual Contrasts, Unique Solution

: : :

PART I: SEXUAL IMMORALITY, UNIQUE SIN

"What makes pornography so addictive
is that more than anything else in a lost man's life,
it makes him feel like a man
without ever requiring a thing of him."
~ John Eldredge, from Wild at Heart

(To provide full explanations, today's post includes full biblical texts rather than the usual links.)

Jesus unequivocally defined lust as the sin of adultery. Perhaps He anticipated an argument that lust is inescapable—a person can’t help where the eye looks and what is then compelled of the hand—because He went on to address such rationale. Here is the complete text:

"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell."
~ Matthew 5:27-30 (NKJV)

The context of sexual immorality continues into the verses which immediately follow:

"Furthermore it has been said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery."
~ Matthew 5:31-32 (NKJV)

Thoroughly despicable to the Jews, adultery carried the death penalty. Jesus pointed out that a divorced woman was compelled to seek another man for support, and He declared a man who commits divorce as guilty of complicity to resulting adultery—unless his wife gave him sufficient grounds for divorce. Jesus didn’t specify grounds for divorce as adultery (Greek moicheia). He instead spoke of sexual immorality (Greek porneia), a broader sin which includes adultery. Jesus affirms permanency of marriage—and how intolerable sexual immorality in marriage is.

Paul describes sexual immorality as a unique sin because of the way sex unites one person, body and soul, to another. He uses this principle to point out that God's Spirit unites Himself to our bodies, and our bodies are to honor that Spirit:

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For "The two," He says, "shall become one flesh." But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's.
~ 1 Corinthians 6:15-20 (NKJV)

We generally think of pornography as a visual temptation which indulges men to lust. But pornography can include images, audio, or text, whether explicit or evocative. It may tempt a man or a woman, married or single. It may tempt indulgence of physical lust or emotional lust. Pornography sabotages marriage, both present and future, and cannot be separated from the lust which violates the commandment, "You shall not commit adultery."

Such lust is only one aspect of sexual immorality, which violates a higher commandment. Because it degrades our bodies, which serve as dwelling place for the Holy Spirit, sexual immorality sabotages efforts to love the Lord our God with all our soul, heart, mind, body.

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For more on defining sin, see "Is It Wrong?"

For more on divorce and the sanctity of marriage, see "What is Marriage?"

This post originally appeared at Bullets & Butterflies. To see additional comments containing ongoing dialogue, click here.

What questions do you have about Christianity or the Bible? You're invited to leave them in the comments below (anonymous questions welcome), or email buildingHisbody [plus] @ gmail.com.

© 2010 Anne Lang Bundy, all rights reserved.

Confessions

This post is part of a blog carnival hosted by Bridget Chumbley at her site "One Word at a Time." You're invited to see what others are saying about today's theme: Reconciliation.

"Find the Lord before you need Him."
~ Randy Travis

Please don't hold it against me if I confess that I genuinely like math. It is objective, absolute, and reliable. In a fallen world, math holds true. I notice symmetry in art and architecture, in poetry and even prose, whether overt, subtle, or hidden. I had to quit Sudoku when it became addictive.

And I enjoy old-fashioned checkbook reconciliation, neatly reconciling my manual entries with the bank to the penny.

Years ago we had fewer dollars, so account balances were closely watched. But now, unless a large expense necessitates knowing our exact balance, I simply stay aware of roughly how much money is available rather than keep a running balance. So checkbook reconciliation done every month or two also determines if we have as much money as I think we do.

It is quite rare, but I also confess to occasionally receiving a Transfer Notice from the bank, when I've become distracted and had a skewed perception of our balance. I'm seriously annoyed with myself if that happens. But we've never had problems (thank You thank You THANK YOU, Lord!) because we maintain a savings cushion, however thin it gets.

"Why do you spend money for what is not bread,
And your wages for what does not satisfy?
Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good,
And let your soul delight itself in abundance..."
Seek the LORD while He may be found,
Call upon Him while He is near.
~ Isaiah 55:2,6 (NKJV)

I don't like making this next confession: I reached a point of trying to get away with roughing it in my spiritual life. Jesus and I connected 25 years ago, and I've stayed faithful to maintain my spiritual life, replenishing my cushion of spiritual strength so that it rarely got anywhere close to beaten down. I attached myself to my Father's leg like a toddler in a crowd or a storm.

Then I got sloppy. I'd like to think I didn't take my Father for granted. Perhaps asking for conviction and then repenting became routine, and I wasn't going as deep. I know I got distracted. I started out by holding onto my Father, then gradually started to just maintain an awareness of His whereabouts to grab onto Him if something big necessitated it.

When the big storm did hit, I realized I wasn't exactly where I thought. My Father hadn't moved, and I managed to grab onto the solid, absolute, and reliable Rock which has always supported me. But I hadn't adequately replenished the spiritual cushion I'd been drawing from. I landed on that Rock with a painful thud. I hadn't accurately perceived my spiritual condition.

You will keep in perfect peace,
The one fixed upon You,
Because he trusts in You.
Trust in the LORD forever,
For YAH, the LORD, is the Rock of Ages.
~ Isaiah 26:3-4 (author)

Jesus reconciled us to the Father with His blood. Reconciliation is also a matter of being fixed upon the Lord, daily taking account of our closeness to Him, and asking how His assessment compares. Getting distracted or sloppy results in skewed perceptions of our spiritual condition. The time to find the right place with the Lord is most definitely before you most need Him.

Lord, I love You more than I can express and less than is adequate. I shudder to think of how I've taken You for granted. Please let me not grow complacent. Please give me strength and desire to follow hard after You every day of my life, without growing weary.

I appreciate hearing from you. Questions are welcome. Reply to BuildingHisBody.com comments or e-mail me—my address is
buildingHisbody [plus] @gmail.com.
Copyright 2010, Anne Lang Bundy, all rights reserved.
Image source: lakesfcu.com