Confront Lust

The theme for the Blog Carnival hosted today by Bridget Chumbley is lust. (More articles on "Lust" are here.)

The first gentle piece I wrote for today was rather wimpy so I tossed it. And since it was in a Twitter discussion that Mike Ellis suggested this theme and I responded with the dare for constructive confrontation of lust, I thought it only fair of me to meet that challenge head-on with these more forthright words.
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"The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see better than he can think."
~ Anonymous

Confront Lust

"I have made a covenant with my eyes;
Why then should I look upon a young woman?"
~ Job 31:1 (NKJV)

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
~ Proverbs 31:30 (NKJV)

Because they are less discreet, men are seen as the gender with a lust problem. Before addressing female lust, shall we acknowledge that women help perpetuate male lust with the way they present themselves?

I’m not proud to admit it, but I remember what it was like a couple of decades back to measure all my attire, adornment and mannerisms by their affect on the opposite sex. Shame on me and the women who have tried to manipulate a man’s attention with subtle (or not so subtle) yet open seduction. And it is seduction, even if a woman says she doesn’t mean it that way.

Gentlemen, surely you are not so weak and stupid that you cannot see such female behavior for the snare it is. If you don’t want to be a woman’s prey, I suggest you keep your attention on her from the neck up, and keep your contact with her clean. I know this can be a challenge, because my own eyes have difficulty from straying to attention grabbers on women—and hardly because I'm attracted to it. But if a painfully attractive, bronzed and bare-chested construction worker can stand three feet from me while I keep my eyes above his neck, keep my hormones in check, and keep my attention on the roof work being discussed, then I know it’s possible for you to do likewise with women.

Ladies, do you reduce yourselves to a pretty piece of hairdo and flesh? If you do get a man to drool over the outward, how difficult will it be to re-divert his attention to the inward? Women were created not as advertisements, but to radiate beauty—the beauty of the Lord's light.

Furthermore, ladies, can we acknowledge that our lust may be as pervasive as men's? If we don't struggle with keeping our eyes above a man's neck, it's because that's where our primary lust lies. Regardless of any interest in his body, we're more interested in his attention.

What do little girls dream of? The Prince Charming who will marry the maiden and shower her with his love so that they live happily ever after. But either Prince Charming fails to marry us, and leaves us with broken hearts; or, he marries us, we discover that Prince Charming has other things on his mind besides us, and we decide he's not so perfect.

So we're inclined to lust after potential Prince Charmings: the co-worker who's such a gentleman; the man at church who treats his wife in a manner we wish a man might treat us; the kind and handsome sir who frequently crosses our path too briefly. The fact that female lust is more emotional than physical doesn't mean it isn't lust, and doesn't make it less dangerous to either present or future marriage.

We women forget that no man is perfect, and no man can meet all of our emotional needs. Admit it ladies: if you were married to the Lord Jesus Himself you'd complain that He gives work all His attention and is on the road too much.

If you're a single woman, be careful about where you let your heart wander. You'll miss out on blessings of what is if you're too caught up dreaming of what might be.

If you're a married woman and have serious marital issues, address them respectfully. But remember that you're not perfect, and no matter how your husband might change he still wouldn't be perfect. Resolve not to day dream about other men, make your marriage the very best it can be, and give your husband the respect, attention and passion that belong to him, both in the bedroom and elsewhere.

Men, if you feel your wife fails to give you all this, do you fantasize or lust over women who might? If your wife isn't generous enough with physical affection, do you feel you're being denied your marital rights? Do you deny her the affection and attention which warm her—which constitute her marital rights? The Bible says, "Husbands, love your wives." Do you love your wife and put her needs above your own, as Paul instructs? Or do you turn the attention that belongs to her elsewhere? (Just some suggested thoughts from a woman's point of view.)

There's plenty more I might say. I'll simply leave men and women alike with a recommendation for "bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ." Trying to push away temptation doesn't tend to be effective, because the resulting void creates a vacuum into which the temptation returns.

More effective is filling your mind and heart with something more valuable than the object of temptation.

I say then: Walk in the Spirit,
and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
~ Galatians 5:16 (NKJV)

A postscript: Wives, husbands, remember to pray for each other. Even if you're single, you can pray now for the man or woman the Lord might one day make your spouse.

Father in Heaven, please use Your Holy Spirit to speak to each of us how You'd fill us with something better than whatever we might lust after. Please increase our desire for such blessing. Please give us all the needed strength to direct our hearts and minds toward You.

Contrasting points-of-view, questions and feedback are invited. Post to BuildingHisBody.com "Comments" or e-mail to BuildingHisBody@gmail.com. Copyright 2010, Anne Lang Bundy, all rights reserved.
Photo from glamour.com